The Nursery

It isn't a surprise to me that I haven't featured Isaac's nursery on the blog yet. It's always been in the corners of my brain as a "must-do" blog post. But then, somehow the last 8 months have snuck by because, I've either been waiting on an element for the room, or the carpet isn't vacuumed into perfect carpet triangles, or the room has been occupied by a sleeping baby. Fast forward to today and you can see that I'm still waiting on random items to complete the look of the room and there are no carpet triangles. Regardless, I'm proud to show off my little guy's domain.

A typical morning: playing with toys on the floor. 

Our baby's gender was a surprise at delivery, but that didn't keep me from having a boy's room. I wasn't happy settling on a gender neutral room, so we simply decorated in phases. Prior to the delivery, we picked out furniture, girl bedding, boy bedding and a paint color that would compliment either bedding. The room was painted and the furniture was put up before my due date. Later, we ordered the bedding and remaining room items after we learned our kiddo was indeed a little boy. Since then, the room has come together piece by piece into a space that is both equal parts serene and playful. I wanted something that was sweet but boyish, fun, not too old looking and not too "themed." I'm really pleased with the way things came together despite having an essentially empty, blue room to start with. It hopefully serves as an example that things don't have to be completely in order prior to baby -- besides, he didn't sleep in his room until he was almost 7 weeks old, which gave us plenty of time to tie bumpers and hang curtains.

The Details: Wall Color: Raindrop by Sherwin Williams. Bedding, Pillow, Quilt: Pottery Barn Kids. Crib, Changing Table, Dresser: JC Penney. Glider: Hayneedle. Wall Art: Handmade by Laura. Curtains: Land of nod. Books: Varied. Wall Frames: HomeGoods. Book holder: Gift from a friend (modeled after this). Framed Print: Etsy (frame from Hobby Lobby). Basket: World Market. Blankets: Homemade gifts. Table frame: Mud-pie. Decal: Etsy. Mirror: Kirklands (then spray painted). Letters: Etsy. Baskets: Target. Lamp: Marshall's. 

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On Watching too much TV.

It's that time of year again.

Well, it's been that time of year again. You know, that time where we put our cable on hold and live without for a few months. Don't be fooled, we do the Hulu thing. We also have Amazon Prime, which is pretty similar to Netflix from what I've been told. So we aren't totally devoid of television. I do happen to miss HGTV and Duck Dynasty though.

To be perfectly honest, when the cable is turned on, I am really not all that big of a tv watcher. I don't particularly care for reality tv, nor do I latch onto shows with the same basic formula each week (i.e. House. I mean, every episode was: crazy symptom patient then wrong diagnosis then wrong treatment then crazy symptom patient gets worse then lightbulb moment then right treatment then patient lives. Every week. Yawn.) Because of this, I don't have a plethora of shows that I follow routinely and for the most part, I end up settling for the same old junk.Why is it that you can have hundreds of channels and yet nothing on is worth watching?

Interestingly enough, somehow when the cable turns off, my interest in following tv shows increases exponentially. Everybody wants what they can't have, right? Until cable makes it grand reappearance in the fall with the NFL preseason, I spend my time working through a few good shows during nap time and after Isaac goes to bed. Here's what I've watched-slash-am-watching:

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The Mindy Project. The couple of shows I do typically watch in the fall are New Girl and Raising Hope. The Mindy Project airs the same night, so I would see the lead in each week and was always intrigued, but never actually tuned in. Enter Hulu time and I laughed my way through the entire first season. Maybe I wasn't feeling the whole "Mindy dates a pastor" storyline, well, mostly because I don't really think that pastors get drunk and sleep around. Regardless, the show is a hoot.

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Parenthood. Wow. How did I miss this gem for 4 seasons?? This show is a roller coaster. It drove Jordan crazy and he called it my "night time soap opera," which I considered an insult. I clung to every hanging storyline. I sympathized with the conflicts, knowing one day I might walk through something similar. It's just real life played out on a tv show. It'll make you laugh. It'll make you cry. It'll make you hug your family. I think I watched all 4 seasons (between Amazon Prime and Hulu) in like a week. Probably more like a month actually, but it felt like it was over in a week and I'm really looking forward to the next season. It is so good.

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Suits. This is my current conquest, which is funny because I never go for dramatic shows about law. Most of the law and cop shows (lets just lump them into the same category, eh?) follow that same boring formula: the week repeat. Crazy crime committed, look for the wrong perp, lightbulb moment, find the right perp, justice is served. While Suits has its share of legalrepeaterdrama, (as in, there's always some really tough case with an obscure and overlooked detail that breaks the whole thing wide open and the good guy wins) it's also got some fun little story lines. Plus the main character guys aren't so hard to look at. Needless to say, I got sucked into this show and have almost made it through the first season. I don't know what it's "rated" when it comes on USA, but the Amazon Prime version has a few questionable words thrown in here and there. Despite the occasional bad word, it's smart and witty without taking itself TOO seriously.


What shows do YOU watch? 

Books & Reading

One of my favorite things to do each day is read to my son. From the very beginning, story time was part of our night time routine. Looking back, it was almost comical reading to him between his bath and bedtime feeding because bath time made him absolutely furious. I was always trying to read each page as quickly as possible over his screaming. Thankfully, this nightly meltdown during story time didn't last long. Now, he's a captive audience and we not only read before bed, but throughout the day as well.

I love to read and I hope that one day Isaac will also enjoy reading. I have visions in my mind of climbing into bed before he goes to sleep and reading through chapter books together when he gets a few years older. I haven't ever read Harry Potter or the Chronicles of Narnia, so I would be doubly excited to both experience it the first time for myself AND see Isaac's reaction. These days, we're still trying to maintain an attention span past about 8 cardboard pages though, so it'll be a while before we get to those other books!

Here's a list of our current favorites:

What are YOUR favorite baby-friendly books?




PS: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my loveylove. Celebrating 7 awesome years of marriage today!!!

Happy Fourth!

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Happy Fourth of July! Wishing everyone a day filled with grilled food, watermelon, beach-slash-pool time, family get togethers, and of course fireworks! Our plans include wiping a little nose, lots of naps and movies on the couch, and maybe some tylenol thrown in there for good measure. My little Mister is getting sicky... poor kid. We don't usually make grandiose plans for the fourth anyway. #liveinabeachtown #touristtakeover #dontgotowalmart

As a sidenote, many apologies for the lack of blog over the last several days. It's time for my almost monthly "why do I even do this anyway" whine-fest. Between bloggywriter's block and feeling uncertain about so many things (should I keep things more private? should I write more about everyday life and less about frivolous things? will I ever have a good hair AND a good makeup day again so that I can do another vlog? and on and on...), I just can't come up with much of anything to put down.

Bear with me, this too shall pass.

Back to breastfeeding one more time... kind of

You don't have to hang around my blog for long to see that I'm a huge fan and major proponent of breastfeeding. I've written multiple posts about nursing and how grueling it can be, but also never failed to mention how wonderful it is. The hard work put into nursing is paid off a hundredfold when you get those sweet, cuddly bonding moments with your little bundle.

Just recently, I got a fantastic question from Gayle, which I later (not willingly) experienced firsthand while my little boy wouldn't nurse:

"How do you promote that awesome bonding experience when you're physically unable to breastfeed?"

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First off, there are definitely some valid reasons for not breastfeeding. In Gayle's case, she's had a preventative mastectomy (read her story here). Breast reductions, lifts, and lumpectomies can hinder nursing depending on the amount of ducts/tissue removed. Since we're on the subject of breast surgeries, breast augmentation doesn't have to affect nursing. Again, it depends on whether or not ducts/tissue was removed. Maybe you've adopted. Maybe momma has a disease that can be transmitted through bodily fluids (HIV or HTLV-1), or maybe she needs a medication that is incompatible with breastfeeding. Perhaps your little one has physical anomalies that inhibit nursing. Maybe you're in the 5% of women who don't make breast milk (which is not to be confused with producing some milk, but not enough to exclusively breastfeed).

In any case, there are ways to get in cuddle time and warm fuzzes with your baby despite needing to bottle feed.

First, it's all in your mindset. Just like you can make specific concessions to promote bonding while bottle feeding, you can also totally blow off breastfeeding. I can remember in those early days where nursing sessions seemed to never end I would zone out watching a tv show or checking Facebook or reading a blog. Sure, I was providing nourishment to my child, but my mind was elsewhere. There have been days where I've toted my kiddo around the house with me while breastfeeding so I could get some much needed items crossed off my to-do list. Connecting with your child during feedings is a choice to make whether you're breast feeding or bottle feeding.

Secondly, make your feeding environment conducive to bonding. In other words, it's not as easy to bond with your baby if you're holding his bottle while pushing the stroller through Macy's. Catch my drift? Find a special chair or get comfy with some pillows in the corner of the nursery. Turn off your phone and the tv and eliminate things that can be distractions to you or your baby. Don't rush through the process - remember, it's not just a chore to complete. Wholeheartedly giving your time to another person is an incredibly profound indicator of that person's value, and the same goes for your child!

Next comes the feeding. Make it an enjoyable experience! Talk to your baby. Sing songs to him. Cuddle him close and stroke his hair. Play music while you're feeding. Read a book. Pray over him. There are all sorts of things you can do while feeding to love on your baby. Skin-to-skin contact (or kangaroo care) is another really easy and fantastic way to facilitate bonding with your baby and can still be done despite bottle feeding. For the "full effect," you can even implement a Supplemental Nursing System. The SNS is a bottle/tube system that provides formula for baby through a tiny tube you attach to your breast. Baby goes to breast just as if it were taking breast milk but gets formula through the tube instead.

With the right attitude and some preparation, bottle feedings can still turn out to be tender and sweet moments between momma and baby.... without the threat of bites, engorgement, and mastitis.

Eight Months!

My sweet boy, you are now eight months old!

It has been a month of laughter and tears - whew- what a roller coaster. You continue to be such an easy-going, always happy baby. You love playing with your toys and can entertain yourself for quite some time just playing on the floor or jumping around in your bouncer. You are praised everywhere you go for your smiles and good behavior. You aren't anywhere close to being mobile, but it will come (probably sooner than I'd like!). You started taking baths in the regular tub this month and love being able to splash around, stretch your legs, and play with your bath toys.

This month you figured out how to shake your head "No" which is ridiculously cute. Especially when you shake your head "No" to questions we ask you. Like, "Do you want to take a nap?" ...No. "Do you want more dinner?" ...No. (proceeds to open mouth) Too soon, you'll know what No means and probably won't be afraid to use it, but for now you are so funny!

You're also starting to babble, and your little voice is just the sweetest thing I've ever heard. "Dada" came first and you've gotten "Mama" out once or twice too. Of course, I wish you'd said Mama first, but you're still awfully cute, so I'll let it slide.

You LOVE to eat! Solid foods are still going really well for you. This month you've eaten yogurt, mashed avocado, pureed spinach, kale, chicken, rice, pears, blueberries and sucked on a little watermelon. You tried bananas again but it wasn't successful this month either.  I'm still making 98% of your food and let me just say, pureeing chicken was disgusting. Thankfully you love your chicken & rice dinners! We have yet to master chewing table foods, because each time I put something in front of you to grab and chew, you gag. One of these days you'll get it down, so I'm not worried.

Checking out some yummy watermelon. Mauve likes cleaning up after Isaac!

In the last month, your top two teeth have broken through, taking your tooth count to FOUR. Having both top and bottom teeth now makes you a little more dangerous than you were with only gums. I've already written an entire post about the nursing strike you took last week including the OW-inducing bite that started it all, so I won't rehash it again.  I just can't get over how much it changes the way you look... because you look like such a big boy with all your teeth!!

You're wearing some 12 month clothes, but can also still fit into a few of your 9 month clothes. You're wearing size 3 diapers still. You're still nursing 4 times per day, eating 2 meals, taking 2 naps, and sleeping 7pm-7am each night. I don't have an official weight, but assume you're hovering around the 20lb mark still. We wont see Dr. Canales again until your 9 month well-baby check up, and hopefully not sooner!

My sweet, sweet boy, you have stolen my heart. I pray that I may continue to point you to Jesus in all things. You have brought me such immense joy. You have softened my heart to all things. You have caused me to fall deeper in love with Christ. I love you so dearly.

Clearer Pictures

Technically, today my little love is 8 months old. Because I was working, I didn't get any great photos of him to share, so tomorrow I'll post an 8 month + 1 day update and photo.

It never ceases to amaze me how motherhood has completely revolutionized my feelings and outlook on Christ. There are so many parallels that exist between mother/child and Jesus/church. I don't think I truly knew what unconditional love felt like until I saw my little boy. To sit and think Christ loves me even more deeply just blows my mind. Is that kind of love even possible? What an incredible, albeit tiny glimpse into the great love of the father. And then, to have a hand in creating life? Ultimately, I believe God to be the creator and sustainer of life, but for a brief moment, I was also a tiny part of that incredible creation. I was the carrier of life and my heart leaps with joy to think of the little person my body nourished and grew. If that wasn't wonderful enough, just like I am made in the image of God, my son bears the image of my husband and I. Words just don't do justice to the changes that have taken place in my heart and the depth of understanding that I've reached since becoming a mother. And each passing day reveals new and different glimpses into the nature of God. His love shines more clearly. His creation speaks more loudly. His sacrifice grips my heart. I am so grateful for these revelations. It should go without saying that He reveals himself on the bad days too.

Case in point:

Rewind to last Tuesday. It was time to nurse, but instead of latching on as usual, my little buddy decided to bite down --hard-- on my *ahem* tenders. Surprised, I reacted with a resounding OW and quickly informed him that he was not allowed to bite mama. It might have been his first scolding and I think it deeply startled him. So much so, that he went on an ugly nursing strike. It looked something like this:

PreTuesday-he-bit-me-and-I-yelped nursing: Awesome.

PostTuesday-he-bit-me-and-I-yelped nursing: Nonexistent. 

And not only were they nonexistent, my attempts to nurse were met with fussing, squirming, bucking, rolling, crying, and complete disinterest. My desire to nourish my son was met with strong opposition and I was reeling. For the first time ever, I wasn't able to comfort my child. I wasn't able to feed my child. It was devastating. I wasn't ready to stop breastfeeding. I cherished the sweet, quiet times with my son. I looked for answers and solutions, but there seemed to be no concrete answers and no definite solutions. Some friends even suggested I just get over it and stop nursing already. My little guy's refusal to nurse went on for days with no end in sight. My poor husband didn't know what to do with me. I ended up giving him bottles of expressed milk in the interim and became well acquainted with my pump again. Each day, I kept offering over and over again thinking that he would come around once again and nurse like "normal." The only thing more heartbreaking than seeing my son cry and wiggle out of my arms was seeing his face light up at the sight of a bottle and happily gulping down cold milk instead.

I'm not gonna lie, not only was I heartbroken and frustrated, I was also mad. Mad at myself. Mad at my son. He was refusing to take part in the one thing that was truly good for him. As his mom, I only want the absolute best for him, and yet he was rejecting it. After days of attempts with no success, there came a point where I was feeling so utterly dejected that I just didn't want to be around my child. I needed some time to decompress and seeing his face reminded me all over again of the frustration and pain. I handed him off to Jordan and threw myself a pity party.

Suddenly, in the midst of my angry tears, a quiet yet firm voice told me: "You still have to love him." In the blink of an eye, I got another clear picture of the nature of God. I saw myself reflected in the situation. I was the rejector and HE was the one handing down love regardless of my choices. Because how many times do I deliberately turn my back on the good things that He offers to me to choose something that's inferior? And yet, He shows great patience and continues to love me unconditionally. I know He only wants the absolute best for me, and foolishly I often choose to go my own way, passing up warm milk and cuddles for a cold, plastic bottle (if you will.). And yet, He still loves me just as deeply. Now, I don't think I could ever NOT love my son, however, there was something so profound about seeing firsthand both devastating rejection and then unending faithfulness and love. It hurt my heart to realize the depth of pain which comes from my own stubborn refusals. Oh and how marvelous and great is the Father's love for me. For this, I am thankful.

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."   -Lamentations 3:22-23

Oh and after almost a week of crying and pumping, my sweet little guy warmed back up to me and spontaneously began nursing again. Lots of kisses and cuddles ensued.