Ian's Birth in Pictures

Oh boy.

These pictures.

I cannot tell you the intense emotion these images bring. I have yet to look through them with dry eyes. We were so incredibly blessed by my work family who paid for Ashley from In Bloom Photography to come and be a "fly on the wall" during my labor and delivery process. She captured such dear, sweet moments that wouldn't have remained in my memory forever, but now I have these images that I can always look to and weep over. They are so incredibly special to me.

And yet, sharing them here feels very vulnerable. I'm letting you in on one of the most intimate moments of my life. There is just SO much emotion attached to them. It is with great trepidation that I hit "publish." Be warned, there are a few juicy baby pictures. 

The remainder of the post is captionless, but if you need a refresher, I've already written out Ian's birth story. You can find it here.  

Please Please PLEASE be respectful of photography as an art form; these photos are the result of a lot of hard work and should be given credit where credit is due. Ashley gave us such a special gift and I think it only fitting to be respectful of her as a photographer. Not only that, they are copyright protected by In Bloom Photography, not to be reproduced without permission. If you like what you see, you should go "like" her Facebook page. You can find it here.

Ian's Birth Story

I love having this blog as a record of my life. Today's post will likely be one of my absolute favorites. Just like I've reread Isaac's birth story about 100 times, I will have this typed out to read and relive over and over and over again. First, I've got to get all the details down before my brain gets murky. Sometime soon, I hope to post a blog of the pictures that our birth photographer took... they are seriously amazing.

Before I can tell you about the day Ian was born, I've got to include the few days leading up to birth day, because the lead up is pretty important. See, originally, I had planned to have a baby on January 26. It was a great plan. My sister would be here in town and wanted to be at the delivery, so not only would we have an extra set of hands, but she could actually be at the hospital when Ian arrived (Casey was in Haiti when Isaac was born). All of the troops (my doctor, CRNA, and nurses) were aware of my grand plan. It was a great plan.

And obviously things didn't exactly happen that way.

I went to my 39 week appointment on Tuesday morning (1/20) feeling no different than I had at most of my previous appointments. Four days earlier, I'd seen my doc at a 38 week appointment and was informed that I was already 3cm dilated (but funneling), 50% effaced, and the baby was floating around -2 to -1 station. Between this appointment and my 39 week appointment, I spent a long weekend at home, resting, napping, and not contracting... because remember, I wanted to stay pregnant until the 26th. So imagine my surprise when I saw Dr. Canterbury on Tuesday morning and my cervix had changed. I had been keeping track of my blood pressures at home, which were a little bit higher than my normal. I'd lost 3 pounds in 4 days and was feeling a lot more low pressure. All signs were pointing to baby.

And then my doc says, "lets have a baby tomorrow."

And then I cried. Cried in the office. Cried on the phone. Went back to work and cried at the nurse's station, the break room, the locker room... I wasn't mentally prepared to have a baby. I had to mourn the loss of my big plans. I had to mourn the loss of my one kid life. Oh my gosh, what was I going to do with my 2 year old?!? Who would take care of him while I was in the hospital?!? Plus, it would be Wednesday, so who would lead youth worship?!? So many questions to answer and so little time. My charge nurse was gracious enough to let me go home from work early so that I could get all my ducks in a row before coming back at 5:30 the next morning. I was thankful to have an afternoon to spend with my little boy. The weather was beautiful, so we went to the park until Dad got home and then we all went out to eat as a family of 3.

Very early the next morning, Jordan and I woke up, loaded our bags, drove into Corpus Christi, and walked up the back stairs through the staff entrance to L&D. The weather was terrible that morning. A cold front was just beginning to blow in and it was very foggy and misting rain. My dear friend and coworker, Bobi Jo was already there getting my room stocked and ready to go. I was a total bundle of nerves... I told her to disregard my blood pressures for a little while! I changed into my gown and was put on the monitor. Bobi Jo started my IV and shortly thereafter, started some pitocin. Once she was finished and my lab work had been drawn (with a high white cell count! Its likely that I wouldnt have been pregnant much longer regardless of intervention!), I took a few minutes to put on a little makeup and tried to relax. It was a little after 6am.

Nothing much happened between 6am and 8:30 other than lots of non-painful contractions. It was just like my labor with Isaac. I could always tell when I was having contractions, but they were never painful. At 8:30, Dr. Canterbury came by and broke my water. My cervix had not changed any further since being checked in the office 24 hours earlier. The fluid was clear (yay!) and the uncontrollable gushing was just as disgusting as I remembered. Because it was a busy day on the unit, I went ahead and asked for my epidural, knowing that there'd be a little wait time involved. I still wasn't hurting, but wanted to make sure and get it before the big time contractions really kicked in. About an hour later, I was sitting up for my epidural. Dirk did an amazing job once again... totally painless, just some strange pressure and sensations during the procedure. Before long I was getting heavy and numb, with the exception of still feeling pressure with each contraction. This was strange, because it was exactly what I was feeling before my epidural was placed. A quick touch to my stomach or legs confirmed that my epidural was indeed working, but I was feeling some pretty substantial pressure with every contraction.

After giving it a little time (and getting a touch more medication), the epidural seemed to take effect and I was only feeling pressure with every third or fourth contraction. It was about 10am and I was 4-5cm. Not a whole lot of change yet from early in the morning and I wondered if this would actually be another long labor like Isaac's. Jordan's parents had arrived by this point and we sat around and chatted for a little while. I needed a lot of help to move around, but Bobi Jo was awesome at making sure I was 100% comfortable. Shortly thereafter, I started feeling more pressure again. I was not interested in being any more numb, so I just shrugged off the occasional discomfort. Then I started noticing on the monitor some little variables (dips) in the baby's heart rate. Something was happening. It was about 11:30 or so at this point and Jordan's parents were talking about going to get lunch... and all I could think was that they needed to leave SOON. The baby was definitely on the way. I tried to play off the growing pressure, but as soon as they were out the door, Bobi Jo was in the room to check my cervix. I was 7-8cm! It was around noon at this point. She said the baby was still high and that I had a lot more cervix on one side, so she flipped me over (we L&D nurses like to call it the multip-flip. Works every time.). Within the next 2-3 contractions, I felt like I needed to push. Bobi Jo was hurriedly setting up my room for delivery and calling all the people who needed to come. Dr. Canterbury was in the hospital, but the charge nurse was in a meeting and my nursery nurse was on her way to the hospital. Just as I am really starting to have to breathe with my contractions to keep from pushing, my boss walks through the door.

Talk about poor timing.

She seemed perfectly oblivious to my discomfort (which was still not painful, just that overwhelming urge to push), and decided to make small talk while I was panting through my contractions. I couldn't very well tell my boss to get out of my room, so I attempted to make small talk as well... and I probably did a very poor job. As soon as she made her exit, Bobi Jo was back to check my cervix again. I was 10cm dilated and the baby was low enough to nearly see the hair color. It had barely been four hours since my water was broken. We were still waiting on the delivery team to arrive, so she turned my pitocin off and I continued to breathe & blow my way through contractions, although I could feel the baby getting lower and lower with each one. Bobi Jo called Beverly (the nursery nurse) and told her to come straight to the room, don't even change into scrubs!

After what seemed like an eternity, everyone was at the bedside. Dr. Canterbury was there along with Bobi Jo, Edie, and Beverly. Somewhere along the way, we added Annabelle and Kendra too. I was surrounded by the people I love most, many of whom were also there for Isaac's birth. I was put into stirrups and prepped for delivery... and I was more than ready to push at that point.

Three short contractions later, HE was born.

The baby I'd prayed over and dreamed of and loved from the very beginning was here. And it was a boy!!!!!!

Before I could see him, Jordan announced to the whole room that it was indeed a boy! Ian Michael had arrived at 12:52pm and I was absolutely overcome with joy. I don't think there was a dry eye in the entire room, and through my own tears I saw and held my little boy for the first time. Jordan cut the cord and we both marveled at our little brother.... and he was certainly little!

After delivering a 9+ pound Isaac the first time around, we were more than shocked to learn that Ian weighed in at a very normal 7 pounds and 4 ounces. He was 20 inches long and absolutely perfect. He had long arms, big hands and feet, kissable lips, and a sprinkling of light brown hair. He was beautiful and I was instantly in love. I know it sounds cliche'd, but it was as if he had always been a part of my life and our family. Despite leaving the gender a mystery until birth, of course it was Ian... it had always been Ian.

Once again, the Lord answered the prayers of my heart, just in ways that didn't necessarily make sense at the time. He knew exactly what I needed, who I needed, and when I needed things to happen.   It didn't look anything like the grand plan that I had in mind; it was better and sweeter and bursting with evidence of God's provision for our family. We are so richly blessed and thankful for our sweet Ian.

Baby Shower Number Two for Baby "Nims" Number Two

I love my coworkers.

For real. They are the greatest group of strong, intelligent, sassy, loving, compassionate, real, hard-working women that I know. The world of nursing is a funny one... everyone seems to know a nurse, has a cousin or a neighbor who's a nurse, or at the least has interacted with a nurse at some point in their life. Working as a nurse is complex, tiring, difficult, sometimes heart-breaking, and often extremely gratifying. I consider my nurse coworkers to be like a second family. The nature of our occupation makes it impossible not to become close friends. We work in close proximity for 12 hours at a time and rely on each other in stressful, busy situations. When one of us stumbles, we all join together in big ways to help out.

In short, I love my coworkers.

They never cease to amaze me. And most recently, surprised me all over again with an incredible shower for baby #2. I have insisted for the last several months that we didn't need anything for baby #2, that we had all of our "gear" still from Isaac. Despite this, these ladies rallied around me and literally showered me with incredible things. I am so very very humbled and thankful.

Funniest cake ever. Notice the spelling error! This made me laugh until I thought my water was going to break! The sweet coworker who ordered it insists that she corrected the spelling multiple times and in the end, it still came out wrong! So stinking funny. And it has stuck! Word of the blunder has spread throughout women's services and this baby is now lovingly referred to as Nims by anyone and everyone I know at work. I honestly love this and couldn't be more tickled to have such a great little nickname and story to tell this baby when he/she is older.

 The goods! This isn't even all of it... didn't I tell you I was totally humbled by the outpouring of love (in the form of diapers, wipes, and other baby necessities.) THEN, as if that weren't already enough, these ladies pooled together and bought us a gift certificate for birth photography! Love!!! I just get a little misty-eyed thinking about the memories that will be captured... this baby's first moments, our reaction to this sweet little surprise, and most of all, the time when Isaac meets his little brother or sister for the very first time. This isn't something that I would've ever chosen to spend money on myself, so I'm extremely grateful that my L&D family would do something so thoughtful.

The greatest CRNA ever.

The greatest CRNA ever plus the two day shift preggos.

The cake was DELICIOUS by the way. Luckily, I went in for my 37wk appt & weigh in BEFORE the party! Haha!

I can't thank these ladies enough for the ways that they love on me, Jordan, Isaac, and Nims! I must get working on the dozens of thank you cards... pronto!!!

Working Moms Unite!

If you're over from Kelly's Korner, then welcome! I'm excited to be connecting today with other working moms across the interwebz. It seems like in the social circles I frequent, that the SAHM is the glorified, superior form of a mom, but not all of us have the luxury of staying at home... or the desire to stay at home. And that is OHHH-KAY. I adore being a mom to my son and I love my job!

If you are new to this corner of the blogosphere, here's a quick little pinch of info about me:

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I'm a mom AND I'm a Labor & Delivery nurse and I love it! I've been a nurse since 2006 and specifically in L&D since 2007. I couldn't see myself being as happy or fulfilled in any other realm of nursing - I seriously adore being an L&D nurse. It is exciting and fast-paced and heartwarming and sometimes devastating. Every day, I get to be an integral part in a family's most exciting and life-changing days. It's an honor, really. Each day is completely different with unique patients and challenges. Aside from simply laboring patients, I also get to work in the OR when there's a c-section, and I get to flex my triage muscles when patients come in with various pregnancy-related complaints. I work at a hospital in Corpus Christi that delivers around 300 babies per month. I've worked at hospitals that deliver twice as many and at hospitals that deliver a fraction of that amount. No matter the pace, it's all the same goal: healthy mom and healthy baby.

Of course, being a mom who works outside the home has it's downsides. Because we don't put my son in daycare (except for mother's day out when it's offered), I really only work on the days my husband is off. And I'm home on the days he is at work. Sometimes it feels like we're "two ships passing in the night." Because of this, I've become very protective of our family time. Then of course, it absolutely hurts my heart to leave before my son wakes up and get home after bedtime. A day will come where I will miss an important holiday because I'm working. Shift work is just not family friendly.

It's such a trade-off being a working mom. On both sides of the coin (SAHM vs Working Mom) there are big sacrifices. For me, I don't see it as trading "time with my son" for "money and prestige." (prestige and nursing? that's a laugh.) Being a nurse is almost as much of a ministry as being a loving momma and wife! It really is exceptionally difficult to spend the day apart from my little guy, and at the same time, I really do feel proud of my contribution to our family. I hope my son grows up to see both his father and mother working hard to provide a nice life for him. With God's grace, I surely hope to be both an awesome mom AND an awesome labor & delivery nurse.

Milk (no cookies) take 2

So when we left off, I'd told you that breastfeeding takes stamina, determination, frequent nursing sessions, and maybe a LOT of Lanolin.

Onward and forward we go. What about formula? What happens if supplementation is necessary? First off, formula is a totally acceptable form of nutrition and there are many circumstances where supplementing with formula is needed. Prematurity (this includes late-pretermers too), low blood sugar, excessive weight loss, significant jaundice, or maternal reasons (illness or complications from delivery) are all valid reasons for formula supplementation. It doesn't mean you're a failure. It also doesn't have to ruin your desire to breastfeed. Don't forget, you gotta be stubborn!

Resist the urge to supplement with formula in the few days between birth and when the breast milk comes in. Remember when I said it can take several days for mature milk to arrive? Healthy, full-term babies are born with a little extra chub-chub to burn off during those first few days. In fact, it's not uncommon for babies to lose up to 10% of their initial body weight. If your bundle of joy weighs 9 and a half pounds at birth like mine did, losing 10% can look like a LOT of weight. Just keep going back to the breast regularly, and watch your baby's output. The number of wet and dirty diapers is your clue as to whether or not he is getting enough.

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Prematurity can certainly lead to the longest period of supplementation, depending on how early your baby arrives. In this case, a good breast pump will be your greatest asset - because it may be your only means of stimulating a milk supply. This girl has written a great blog post with tons of great info about exclusively pumping. Keep in mind that most premature babies not only lack a strong suck reflex, but also don't have the energy required to nurse. For extended periods of separation, as in long NICU stays, you'll want to pump as often as your baby would nurse (10-12x per day). Maintain close contact with your NICU nurses and a lactation consultant to ensure the greatest chance for success in getting breast milk to your little peanut. Breast milk is FAR superior nutrition for premature babies, and although some supplementation will likely be necessary, any amount of breast milk will be ideal. Be diligent to pump, be protective of your milk supply, and be openly flexible in regards to feeding your baby expressed milk from a bottle.

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Low blood sugar, excessive weight loss, jaundice, and maternal reasons are typically short-lived instances of supplementation. We're talking as little as one bottle and as much as a week or so. When possible, always offer both breasts as a feeding prior to finishing a feeding with formula. This is ideal, as it still provides stimulation for milk production. In the absence of this option, pumping each feeding is needed to prevent a decrease in milk supply. If you're worried about "nipple confusion," ask your nursery nurse if it's possible to either gavage feed or use a supplemental nurser.

Maybe you're as stubborn as a mule and yet things just aren't working out like you'd hoped. There are certainly speed bumps that can pop up, which can make navigating around breastfeeding a lot more difficult. Low production, flat or inverted nipples, issues with latch, tongue tie, mastitis, engorgement, and nipple breakdown are some of the most common problems encountered while breastfeeding. My advice? Call a Lactation consultant. Certified lactation consultants can be a wealth of knowledge. Establishing contact with an LC prior to hospital discharge is a great foundation for future success.

Finally, with increased education comes increased chances of success. I can think of about a dozen more talking points regarding nursing, there is still so much to say! If you are serious about breastfeeding, look into taking a class. There are also tons of books, websites and blogs that are WAY more informative.

I know I've already said "finally," but I have one more thing to say about breastfeeding. There's this turning point that happens one day and suddenly things start getting easier. You see, despite it being exhausting, anxiety-inducing, and grit-my-teeth painful (lanolin, cold gel soothies, and nipple shells were my go-to comfort for nipple soreness), breastfeeding is also kinda magical. For the first 6 months of my son's life, my body provided every drop of nourishment his little body needed. I also protected him from disease (including one particularly nasty stomach bug that everyone in the house got except him). I've read to him, sang to him, prayed over him, studied his perfect little features and kissed his chubby cheeks. For a few minutes each day, he is once again a part of me.

And that makes it all worth it.