Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Taking it a few steps past the line, I’ll be gross and frank: A patient’s nurse is usually already aware if her patient is … ready to deliver. And by ready to deliver, I don’t mean a baby. Let me bring you to another level of gross awareness: We labor nurses can feel whats in your poop chute when we check your cervix.
While my little opinion group was giggling over our own disgusting patient poop stories, one of the OB-GYNs interjected with his own absolutely revolting experience with an impacted patient. He said this lady had not pooped in 4 weeks and her dookie had become hard and impacted (meaning stuck in her rectum). Being that he was only a lowly intern, he got the job of digitally removing this giant mass of turd. The "digital" that I'm referencing in this story is not referring to a type of clock. Picture this- he said it was so bad, she would've needed a C-section because there was no room for the baby to fit through there. Anyway, there was a sea of diarrhea behind all those rocks and when the dam was broken, Dr. X needed a new change of scrubs. Moral of the story? Take your colace ladies.
Lastly, keep in mind, those of you who are planning on one of them fancy-pants crunchy granola all-natural at-home water/tub births, you’ll probably poop too. But you’re in luck!...
Saturday, August 13, 2011
- Hang up the phone when I come in to talk to you.
- Don't ask me to get you ice chips when there are 18 family members sitting nearby.
- Take a shower and brush your teeth before you come to the hospital. (more on this in a separate post!)
- Don't touch the call bell.