Or in my case, not.
It's been a slow, quiet month here on the blog, and I can't say that last month was all that exciting either.
Conversely, life around my house has been full. With the exception of one week with no internet (thank you near-daily severe thunderstorms), my lack of writing has been largely due to a lack of time. I went back to work and have been on the labor unit two 12hr shifts per week for the last month. That might not sound like much, especially to you moms who work 40hr weeks(!!), but it's been an adjustment for me. Fortunately, I have a job I love and a trusted friend to keep the boys, meaning they don't have to go to daycare.
And then of course, my days at home are filled with lots of catch up housework, grocery runs, never-ending laundry, and plenty of time with my two sweet boys. If these things are accomplished before the day is dark again, you can usually find me zoned out on the couch or reading a book in silence.
My brain is full, my ears are ringing, and I'm over being touched.
Parenting small children is exhausting.
Can I get an amen?
It's beautiful, selfless, and full of moments so sweet I think my heart may just burst. But it is also exhausting. And it doesn't discriminate: parenting one small child is exhausting just like parenting 4 small children is exhausting. It's just a never ending cycle of cleaning spills, cutting food, diapering/pottying, kissing boo-boos, playing with toys, picking up toys, coloring, nursing, running, laughing, bubble-blowing, rocking, cooking, feeding, and so on and so on and so on. The physical demands are relentless. Then you add in the battles that come from a toddler who tests his boundaries over and over again or a teething baby who just can't get settled. The emotional wear is tiring to the point of tears. This chapter in life has a beginning and an end, where coloring pages are replaced with homework and trips to the park change from swinging and sliding to soccer practice and catching fly balls. Friends of older children tell me, "just wait until the next stage. Then you'll really know what hard is." I don't doubt that parenthood is a challenge from conception to the end, but there is something unique about being a mommy to children who are dependent on adults for a large majority of needs.
I don't really know where i'm going with all this, and truly, I should be up cleaning bathtubs while both boys nap simultaneously (!). Maybe there's another mom out there reading this who feels like she's barely treading water ... you're not alone. I would say our case is unique (it's not), because so much of our free time is given to ministry (just like all the rest of the men & women in full time or bivocational ministry) and we are several hours away from family (just like plenty of other young families), but the more I lean in to other mom friends for support and guidance and encouragement, the more I find that we're all basically in the same boat.
We're all tired. "Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest" Matthew 11:28
We all wonder if we're doing the right thing. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:5
We all feel low on joy. "This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!" Psalm118:24
Parenthood is a challenge, and we likely won't see the fruit of our labor instantly. A dear friend recently remarked, "Motherhood is lived in the trenches. It's beautiful, but it's in the trenches" Just like life is hard when you want to do it well, we press forward through the difficulties to produce a home full of love, joy, and life.
And in the process, sometimes we neglect our blogs for a little while. ;)