I've become a terrible blogger here recently.
Shame on me for posting a photo with a caption and calling it a day. Finding time to fit in the blog while simultaneously having a life has become more difficult than I'd like to admit to. First, Mr. Isaac has dropped a feeding and a nap from his day (well, I dropped them for him) and on the especially fun days, he decides he wants to skip another nap altogether. This means he's up for much longer periods during the day, which eats away at any sort of time I could devote to myself. Naps have become prime time for eating meals, cleaning up our disaster of a house, and the occasional shower. Blogging takes a big back seat to all of this, as does any other form of social media. I try to "be present" while Isaac is up and playful, which means keeping the computer and iPhone tucked away elsewhere. It was easy to shrug off checking emails and Facebook when he was littlelittle and oblivious, but nowadays he always seems to be seriously absorbing the entire world around him and I want that world to be more than a computer screen or iPhone or tv. I know that sounds like a ridiculously obvious contradiction to my Midweek Confessions post about letting him watch some tv and I have to laugh at myself as well. Because while I want Isaac to appreciate life apart from tv/video games/cell phones, I also don't think a few minutes here and there throughout the week is going to ruin him completely. I'm just hoping to end up with a balanced child who thinks that playing outside, reading, and coloring books are more fun than watching a movie or playing on the computer. Is that so much to ask?
Aside from having less time during the day, I'm also back at work. Since I'm only working part time (about 24hrs/week or 2 shifts), I'm neither fully working nor fully stay-at-home. It's a weird place to be, because I don't seem to fit neatly into either category. The thing is- I'm thankful for both sides. I love being able to stay at home with my buddy 5 days out of the week just like I'm thankful to be making an income. Last week I received my first "full" paycheck since returning from my maternity leave and seeing my hard-earned (physically AND emotionally!) money made me swell up with an almost unhealthy amount of pride in myself. I was finally contributing in a tangible way after spending 13 weeks sitting on the couch in my pajamas. Maaaaaaaaybe I still spend those 5 days off sitting on the couch in my pajamas, but those 2 working days automatically mean I'm not totally worthless. While we're on the subject of work, I would like to say that leaving Isaac for 14 hours was just as hard as I anticipated it would be. And it really hasn't gotten that much easier.
In other news, the postpartum shed has started. And I'm not talking about weight loss.
Oh goodness, don't get me started on weight loss. I cringe.
No, the hair is falling out. Chunks in the shower, when I run my fingers through my hair, when I brush. Its sad. I usually find a few strands in Isaac's baby death grip each time I pick him up, but as soon as I remove it from his clutches, there's more appearing in its place. I find this particularly unfair considering I never had the full, thick hair that is supposed to accompany pregnancy. I guess if I go completely bald, it'll save me a ton of time in showering and blow drying, not to mention money I spend on color, shampoo and product! But, for the record: I quite like my hair.
And for the record: swaddle weaning is the pits.
4 comments:
Love the update. You're a fantastic mommy and I completely agree and support your technology ignoring when around your child. I think it gets easier and easier to want to zone out from our kids from time to time, and it's a good thing to kick before it starts. xoxo
I know I am ridiculous. I bought a magic sleep suit. Grayson would not sleep sans swaddle, and would break out of it constantly. You can make fun of me if you want, I give you permission. It was the best $40 I ever spent. My kid practically closes his eyes as we put it on.
What a wonderful profession to be able to straddle the line between working and staying at home! I sometimes wish I had gone into nursing or some other medical profession that allows for part-time hours, and then I remember that I didn't even like getting glue on my hands in elem. school, so how could I possibly deal with the gore of medicine?
As a working mom for almost 2 years now, I'd love to say that leaving the little gets easier, but it hasn't for me. It has just become what I do and makes me relish the days I'm home a more. My every other Fridays off are sacred!
Gee, I'm such an uplifting commenter today! I will say that eventually your hair will stop falling out, so yay for that!
Blogging can be a little much sometimes. I often love the post with just a picture and a caption. Isaac is SO adorable. Those beautiful blue eyes!!! Ahhh!!
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