Maybe that mom was right this morning in her urgings to spend my free day napping. Not because I'm in desperate need of good sleep, but just to pass the time without dwelling every second on the absence.
Yes, friends.... Isaac is at Mother's Day Out.
In an effort to decrease the heartache that is coming next week as I return to work, we have employed the seemingly brilliant plan of gradually lengthening the time and distance away from Isaac in the days leading up to the mind-numbingly difficult 14 hour long absence. But is it really a "brilliant" plan? Because I'm sure I'll still sob in the car through the entire 45 mile commute. And catch myself choking back emotion throughout the day. And speed home as every second of the drive feels like an hour. Oh, if God aches more deeply for me than I do for Isaac, then His love truly is unfathomable.
The first phase of my plan went into action Sunday morning. Isaac went to church nursery during the Sunday school hour.
|First Sunday in the nursery!|
We got him dressed and his diaper bag loaded up and with great reluctance and trepidation, I placed him in the arms of some very excited nursery workers (who would coincidentally also be his MDO ladies. And as a side note, our church refers to MDO as Discovery Days, so I'll use the terms and their abbreviations interchangeably.) and I went and taught Sunday school for the first time in months. I warned the high school girls that I'd probably be unable to form complete sentences, but they hung in there and we got through it. Lo and behold, Isaac was happy as a clam when I picked him up. We both survived and I think I did quite well during that hour-long absence.
Phase two of my weaning plan began this morning and it's been significantly harder than phase one was. Sure, he's at our church. And Jordan is in the office today, which means he's literally 30 seconds down the hall. But still. I had intended to take a picture again this morning to mark his first day at Discovery Days, but my hurried-slash-overwhelmed-with-anxiety brain completely forgot. Good grief, does this ever get easier?! My grandiose plans of being super productive have been washed away. Instead of exercising, straightening the house, spending some time in God's Word, taking a leisurely shower, and having lunch with a friend, I'll cry for a while, mope around the house, get a single load of laundry in the wash, hopefully shower, and still grab a bite to eat. Then, when 2pm hits, Jordan will rescue Isaac from the truly wonderful women caring for him and I'll cuddle my little buddy for the remainder of the afternoon (and pray he didn't pick up the nasty flu/stomach virus that's been rampant around these parts. Wash your hands folks!).
Phase three starts thursday morning: we'll take him once again to DD/MDO but this time, Jordan is off and so neither of us will be in the building with him. Phase four is next Tuesday when I'll drop him off once again and spend my free time in Corpus getting ready for work. Phase five (the final) is next Thursday, my first shift at work since Isaac was born. I'm certain that one day I'll be begging for a moment of silence/alone time or enjoy my work days surrounded by adults and not diapers and spit up, but that day is not today.
And I don't think it'll be this week.
Or next week either for that matter.