Except for maybe that time last week when I politely (?) told a patient that contractions don't necessarily equal labor, because I've been having contractions for 2 weeks already and haven't had a baby yet. She didn't seem too happy to hear that.
I've gotten a lot of birth plan questions, both as a giggly inside joke between coworkers and a serious inquiry from other pregnant friends. I thought I'd share some of the highlights of my "birth plan."
- I'd like to have a baby in the safest way possible. If that means I can push him/her out, then great! If that means I need a c-section, then that's ok too. I was delivered via C/s, so we'll just see what happens.
- I want an epidural. It's important to me that I get to enjoy those last few moments with my husband as a "pair" instead of a "trio." Plus, I'm kind of a weenie when it comes to painful things.
- I would like to breast feed.
- I want all the baby meds and vaccines. Also a circumcision (if baby M is a boy!).
That's about it.
I know there are about a jillion different schools of thought regarding all of my "birth plan" choices and don't intend to "step on toes" or cause a stir. Just last week, there was conversation around the nurse's station about patients who choose to take their placentas home for... uh... consumption. Most hospitals have policies against sending medical waste home with patients, so that's not even really a consideration, but then I had a patient who informed me that her mother ate the placenta from her last baby (my patient's youngest sister) and apparently scrambled it up with some eggs. Gag. Barf.
Recently, I had a patient with a birth plan that only had 2 "goals." 1. Don't poop everywhere. 2. Don't tear to kingdom come. Maybe I'll add those to my own birth plan! In the end, she accomplished both of her goals. So now, don't let anyone tell you that hospitals don't uphold birth plans! HA!
|All pictures found via Pinterest|