Midweek Confessions

I'm gonna drop a big bomb on you guys this week. Oh boy, I can see the hate mail now. I guess I should say goodbye to being a widely known and influential blogger slash eventual best selling writer. Maybe my aspirations of being a close, personal blogger friend of Ree Drummond are a little far fetched. Regardless, it's time once again for midweek confessions. So here goes nothing...

I dont get Downton Abbey.

I just dont.

What in the world is so great about it?! I watched one painfully dull episode, which means I gave it a fair chance. Just like I gave Twilight a fair chance by watching the first movie, which was awful. But before I lose even more fans by confessing my absolute disinterest in all things Twilight, lets get back to my original confession. Downton Abbey just doesnt appeal to me at all. My facebook feed blows up over some Downton Abbey plot twist on whatever night it airs, but I just cant jump on board. Unless of course I'm having problems sleeping and need something to help me doze off (A cure for your insomnia, Erika?). When the new season started I even saw grown men look legitimately excited about the show. I keep wondering if I'm missing something, but then I remember that I just dont like it. 

To be fair, I'm not a fan of English period drama movies either. Jane Austen does not float my boat. Mr Darcy poo poo Shmarcy. Accents, corsets, flat affects, and dreary English countryside is not my cup of Earl Grey tea. I think these movies are equally as dry and boring as Downton Abbey. The BBC is at the bottom of my most-watched channels list. These days, HGTV is at the top of that list in case you were wondering. 

Am I the only person who thinks Downton Abbey is a total snooze-fest? 

Three Months!

No longer a newborn, my incredibly sweet son is now three months old. I am in complete awe over how much he has grown and changed in such a short amount of time. He now looks completely different, as that newborn look is long gone, but he continues to be the cutest little boy I've ever seen (momma bias!) I feel like we've moved into a more stable place in the last few weeks where he is more predictable, less fussy, and much more interactive. I dont know if we are learning how to live with a baby or he is learning how to live with us or maybe it's a combination of both, but either way, things just seem to flow a little easier these days.

Little Isaac, you are living up to your name, because you keep me laughing all day long. You found your voice about a week ago and have been cooing and gooing and chattering nonstop ever since. Hearing you "answer" my questions with your baby-speak makes me giggle and warms my heart. You make the funniest little faces! I laughed and laughed last night as you learned that splashing in the bathtub can be a lot of fun! By the time we got out of the tub, there was water everywhere and you'd worn yourself out. You are so much fun!

You've been sleeping through the night for about 6 weeks now, and I think you're about ready to drop that 10pm feeding. You nurse on one side for maybe 2 or 3 of minutes and then immediately fall asleep. I usually enjoy cuddling you for a few minutes before putting you down for the night. I'll still enjoy those sleepy cuddles, they'll just be a little earlier in the night. We'll try working that out over the next few weeks so that hopefully by our next month update, you'll be sleeping 11-12 hours at night! And speaking of changing up sleep habits, today we are trying naps without being swaddled! So far, this hasn't exactly been successful, and I'm starting to feel like a glutton for punishment!

At the same time we're moving your bedtime back, I'll also try to stretch your feedings out to a consistent 3.5 hour schedule (the key word behind all these new things is TRY!). You're still nursing like a champion and I'm still producing like a dairy cow. Here recently, you've become a very messy eater. By the time we're finished, both of us are covered in sticky milk. One of these days I'll just put a bib on you like a smart mom would.

I look forward to a magical day without hiccups, because you still get them after almost every meal. Those dreaded hiccups continue to make you spit up, unless we hold you a certain way, which gets a little old during those 30 minute hiccup spells. Speaking of spitting up, you have done a lot less of that recently! It's not completely resolved (Like that major eruption in our bed two days ago!), but I've seen a major improvement over the last few weeks.

The typical surprised Isaac face! (can you spot Mauve in the big picture?)

I'll retire all of your 3 month clothes today, because you really need 6 month clothes for the length. You're still wearing size 2 diapers and they seem to be fitting you just fine right now. We won't get a weight and length update until your 4 month well baby appointment unless you get sick between now and then (fingers crossed for a healthy buddy!)

Mr. Isaac, you have brought such incredible joy to my life! I am loving every little moment with you, watching you learn and grow, and kissing those chubby cheeks. Being your momma is such a blessing and I am so very thankful. You are my wonderful son!

Midweek Confessions

I'm following in E, Myself, and I's footsteps and participating in her Midweek Confessions. I'm thinking it'll be cathartic to get all my less-than-stellar moments from this week out of my brain and on paper (or is it on screen?) to laugh and be laughed at. So here goes...

• Remember the last post where I said I was going to throw together some homemade Peppermint ice cream, complete with peppermint bits to mix in? Well I tackled that project yesterday. Earlier this week I successfully made homemade sugar cookies and from-scratch brownies with icing, so I was riding a wave of awesomeness. During Isaac's nap time, I started mixing up the ice cream base, and feeling so good about it. I even colored it pink! However, when I took a little taste-test, my wave of awesomeness fizzled out entirely. The base was awful. SO awful, it was practically inedible. In an attempt to salvage the ice cream, I doubled the milks and added a tiny bit of vanilla extract. Except even then, it still tastes horrible... and now i've wasted 4 cups of milk, 2 cans of evaporated milk, and 2 cans of condensed milk. I gave it one last ditch effort and threw it into the ice cream maker, hoping that the freezing process would take that weird funky flavor away. Ever wonder what your mouthwash would taste like if it were frozen? Well, I have a container of it in our freezer if you'd like to try it.  Epic Fail. 
• It's girl scout cookie time. Is there anything else to say here? I've already bought 4 boxes, and in my mind, I consider that a good jumping off point. I have no room to complain about baby weight as long as I'm eating iced brownies for breakfast and cookies after every meal. 
• If you came in my house right now, you'd find 4 loads of clean laundry in baskets needing to be folded, 1 load in the washer, 1 load in the dryer, and 2 dirty loads still waiting to be washed. I'd rather scratch both eyeballs than fold clothes. 
• I'm going back to work tomorrow and that at least means I'll get a shower, some deodorant and my teeth brushed. This doesn't happen everyday folks. 

How's that for awesome? Don't let yourself ever think that I've even got it remotely together. Just keeping it real here people!

High Five for Friday!

It's Friday! ...apparently. Between not working and taking care of a baby, I rarely know what day it is without giving it some considerable thought. Like when you go on a long vacation and don't have to know or care what day it is anymore. Regardless! I'm linking up with Lauren and High Five for Friday for the first time ever! Here goes my list of five completely unrelated and random highlights from this week. 

1. It is a beautiful day here in Rockport! Just absolutely gorgeous. So nice in fact, I can't get Mauve to come back inside. She has been sunbathing on the porch or rolling in the grass all day long! She'll come back inside for a minute, make the inspection circle around the house, and walk right over to the door to be let outside once again. Silly girl. Isaac and I should take advantage of the sunshine and mild temperatures and go for a walk later.

2. We have 3 cartons of almond milk, a quart of whole milk, and a half gallon of 1% milk currently residing in our refrigerator. We should be ready for almost anything, as long as it involves dairy (or non-dairy alternatives).

3. I bought 3 bags of these peppermint chips during the holidays because I thought they'd be a great mix in for the homemade peppermint ice cream I'm still planning to make. Turns out, the peppermint crunch baking chips make a pretty tasty snack. Yes, I am that person who eats all the semisweet morsels before I can get a batch of cookies made.

4. My milk-stuffed freezer. I was downtrodden last night when I was only able to pump 4oz of milk after Isaac's last feeding. Thinking back on the day, I remembered I pumped 9oz after his first feeding to send with him to Discovery Days. Then I pumped again after lunch, bagging up 11oz for the freezer. When I realized i'd pumped a grand total of 24oz that day AND had 4 good nursing sessions, I felt a little silly for worrying about my end-of-the-day output. I'm enormously proud of my milk-sicle stash, and the freezer photo doesn't quite do it justice (the entire door is full of milk and most of the interior compartments are full of milk too.). Can you say overproducer?!

5. Learning about the life of Paul in "To Live is Christ." The circa 1997 video of Beth Moore that corresponds to the lessons is pure hilarity... did everyone really look like that in 97?! That just doesn't seem that long ago, but the shift dress and structured matching jacket suggest otherwise. After Beth's incredible talk about Passover at Passion 2013, I am excited to dig into this study of hers.

OH the Sadness

My little momma heart is about to crumple this morning as I sit in solitude.

Maybe that mom was right this morning in her urgings to spend my free day napping. Not because I'm in desperate need of good sleep, but just to pass the time without dwelling every second on the absence.


Yes, friends.... Isaac is at Mother's Day Out.

[cue sniffles]

In an effort to decrease the heartache that is coming next week as I return to work, we have employed the seemingly brilliant plan of gradually lengthening the time and distance away from Isaac in the days leading up to the mind-numbingly difficult 14 hour long absence. But is it really a "brilliant" plan? Because I'm sure I'll still sob in the car through the entire 45 mile commute. And catch myself choking back emotion throughout the day. And speed home as every second of the drive feels like an hour. Oh, if God aches more deeply for me than I do for Isaac, then His love truly is unfathomable.

The first phase of my plan went into action Sunday morning. Isaac went to church nursery during the Sunday school hour.

First Sunday in the nursery! 

We got him dressed and his diaper bag loaded up and with great reluctance and trepidation, I placed him in the arms of some very excited nursery workers (who would coincidentally also be his MDO ladies. And as a side note, our church refers to MDO as Discovery Days, so I'll use the terms and their abbreviations interchangeably.) and I went and taught Sunday school for the first time in months. I warned the high school girls that I'd probably be unable to form complete sentences, but they hung in there and we got through it. Lo and behold, Isaac was happy as a clam when I picked him up. We both survived and I think I did quite well during that hour-long absence. 

Phase two of my weaning plan began this morning and it's been significantly harder than phase one was. Sure, he's at our church. And Jordan is in the office today, which means he's literally 30 seconds down the hall. But still. I had intended to take a picture again this morning to mark his first day at Discovery Days, but my hurried-slash-overwhelmed-with-anxiety brain completely forgot. Good grief, does this ever get easier?! My grandiose plans of being super productive have been washed away. Instead of exercising, straightening the house, spending some time in God's Word, taking a leisurely shower, and having lunch with a friend, I'll cry for a while, mope around the house, get a single load of laundry in the wash, hopefully shower, and still grab a bite to eat. Then, when 2pm hits, Jordan will rescue Isaac from the truly wonderful women caring for him and I'll cuddle my little buddy for the remainder of the afternoon (and pray he didn't pick up the nasty flu/stomach virus that's been rampant around these parts. Wash your hands folks!).

Phase three starts thursday morning: we'll take him once again to DD/MDO but this time, Jordan is off and so neither of us will be in the building with him. Phase four is next Tuesday when I'll drop him off once again and spend my free time in Corpus getting ready for work. Phase five (the final) is next Thursday, my first shift at work since Isaac was born. I'm certain that one day I'll be begging for a moment of silence/alone time or enjoy my work days surrounded by adults and not diapers and spit up, but that day is not today. 

And I don't think it'll be this week.

Or next week either for that matter.

Packing & Traveling with Isaac

We've been home from our Georgia trip for over a week now and I am so thankful that it only took Isaac a couple of days to get back into his "normal" routine. When I initially started writing this post, I had a whole paragraph singing the praises of our sweet boy and his easy-going nature. But then he woke up from his nap in a fury and I decided to delete a few sentences before I really jinxed myself.

Anyway, back to our trip. First, the packing. I had no idea what I might need or not need, so I ended up packing most of the house, as evidenced by this picture:

Yes folks, that's a king size bed. 

Scary, huh? I took two suitcases (thank you Southwest Airlines), one that was 50 pounds on the dot and another that was hovering just below 50. Ridiculous. Mind you, I was also taking Christmas presents, which took up a lot of extra room. Plus, we were gone for EIGHT days, which in hindsight was entirely too long. There were only a couple of baby items that never made it out of the suitcase. And what's the really embarrassing part? My sister Jennifer and friend Holly provided us with all the major baby gear we could ever need: car seat, stroller, swing, pack'n'play... you name it, they had it. Also, my dad bought us a giant box of diapers and wipes to use at his house/the hotel so I only needed to pack enough for our first travel day.

So it would seem like we had everything we needed waiting for us in Georgia. I'm sure you're asking yourself, what in the world was in his suitcase you say?

• My Pump and all it's accessories. (This also includes milk storage bags and breast pads.)
• 2 Bottles and a steam cleaning bag
• The Boppy. (bulky and not absolutely necessary, but well used!)
• Plenty of burp cloths, bibs, and a couple of hand towels for those big spits.
• A few "going out" outfits 
• A few "stay at home" outfits (socks also)
• PJs and 2 swaddlers
• A couple of blankets
• Travel-sized baby shampoo and lotion (not needed- was also waiting for us @ my Dad's house)
• Isaac's D-Vi-Sol
• Baby Monitor (didn't use it.)
• Bath Luve (didn't make it out of the suitcase either)

And specifically in the diaper bag:

• Enough diapers & wipes to endure 2 flights and a 2 hour car ride.
• Diaper rash cream
• Sanitizing wet wipes for those grody airport bathroom changing areas
• A couple of pacifiers even though Isaac isn't a paci man
• The K'tan (lifesaver.)
• Bib, burp cloth, hand towel and extra outfit
• His birth certificate

Next time we'll certainly leave the unnecessary items at home, but I would imagine they'll more than likely be replaced with other needs. I consider myself supremely lucky to get out of hauling around baby gear, because hauling a carseat through the airport in tandem with everything else I was toting sounds like torture. I also didn't have to worry about carrying formula/milk through security because I was able to nurse Isaac on the plane. Even though we made it through fairly successfully, next time we'll also bring someone else along, so I'm not trying to haul around 2 suitcases, 2 carry-ons, and a baby by myself. (did I forget to mention that Jordan and I traveled separately?)

The flying itself was as easy as everyone predicted. He seemed completely unfazed by the plane -I nursed on all 4 takeoffs (2 flights there and 2 flights home), which was my first totally public nursing session (lets face it, the backseat of the car and a locked dressing room are still private). While I love nursing my son, I'm also painfully modest and sensitive to other people. I'm just not going to be that person who just whips it out. Several strategic layers and a nursing cover kept me as inconspicuous as possible when you're elbow to elbow with strangers. Luckily, he slept through 3 of 4 flights - two of which were the longer legs (hooray!). I can't be certain, but I would deduce that he was soothed by all the white noise of the plane. Anyway, the flights to Georgia were a total breeze. The flights back to Texas were also fuss-free, but unfortunately not babypuke free. Both of our return flights were christened with spit up. Many apologies to Southwest Airlines for the wall and floor mess. There's only so much clean up you can do when you're in a confined space, wearing a seatbelt, holding a baby, with neighbors within inches. 

The rest of the travel days were hit or miss. We had a delay during our first layover, which led to some fussiness in the airport, but it was nothing a little walking and bouncing couldn't remedy. Navigating the airport with no more than 2 hands was a challenge- especially when it came to using the bathroom and eating- but it was short lived and we both survived. Driving for 2 hours after already enduring 2 flights and a prolonged layover was a little too much for Isaac to handle all in one day. He screamed almost non-stop from Atlanta to Augusta, which fried this already tired momma's nerves. Thankfully, we were already in Atlanta for Passion 2013, so our travel day home didn't include that long commute to the airport. 

Our next trip to Georgia is already materializing and this time I will be certain to travel with my baby-toting, boob-shielding, sanity-relieving husband! It already feels so much easier.

Guest Post

As previously mentioned, I am featured on E, Myself, and I today. She asked me to write a fun guest post after winning her Get & Give Away to introduce her readers to my charity of choice, Destino del Reino!

I was totally thrilled to share my heart and am excited to have some buzz circulating about this incredible ministry. Head on over to E's blog and check out what I have to say!

Passion 2013

This year, Jordan and I once again made the trek to Passion 2013. But unlike last year, we had an especially small person tagging along with us. Things were vastly different with Mr. Isaac along for the ride. First difference? I opted out of the 17hr van ride from Texas to Georgia in favor of a couple of flights to Atlanta. I'm not at all bummed to skip out on the church van trek, but don't be that jealous. I faced my own awesome speed bumps flying by myself with a 2 month old. And by awesome, I mean lots of spit up at 30,000ft, and trying to balance holding Isaac while simultaneously emptying my bladder and trying to keep 2 carry ons from touching the nasty airport bathroom floor (More "fun" travel stories to come). Secondly, the three of us stayed at the Omni, which is a 10 minute walk from the Georgia Dome, where as the students (and other adults) stayed at a hotel near Turner Field. Because I'm a stubborn person, I wore down the pavement between our room and the dome walking back and forth to nurse Mr. I every 3 hours. Finally, we took twice as many people this year when compared to last year! There were 22 of us total! Check out our group:

I'm not in this photo (nor are 2 of the girls) because I didn't ride the vans this year! 

Passion 2013 was just as awesome as the last few years' worth of Passion conferences. They had essentially the same lineup: Louie Giglio, John Piper, Francis Chan, Beth Moore, Chris Tomlin, Kristian Stanfill, Christy Nockels, David Crowder, Matt Redman, LeCrae, and Charlie Hall. There were also a few "new" faces: Judah Smith, Jesus Culture, Kari Jobe and a few other worship leaders and speakers. It's the same great formula: 60,000+ people, primarily college students, gathered together for worship/speaking led by those incredible names listed above. It's an experience that you can hardly describe without cheapening it in some way. God's presence is so heavily felt in that place, that it would seem impossible to leave unchanged.

Personally, Passion was a greatly different experience this year, thanks to the munchkin that I took along. Obviously, Isaac did not actually attend any of the conference, but instead hung out in the hotel with my awesome sister and mom. Unfortunately, because of feeding conflicts (I told you I'm a stubborn momma!), I didn't attend any of the community groups this year. I made it to all but 3 of the main sessions. Honestly, I dealt with a lot of anxiety leaving Isaac at the hotel. I know I was only a short walk away and I know he was being watched by 2 people I care dearly for (who are also nurses), but for some reason, I just couldn't shake the anxiety. Sadly, this was a big distraction. It did get better with prayer and time, but I was always subconsciously thinking about Isaac and what time it was and how much longer I had before his next feeding and how he was doing and if he was fussy and if he slept well and on and on and on.

Conversely, having him there also greatly enriched my experience. Coming back to Passion as a mother, I am so much more sensitive to the love of Christ, because I have a closer picture of what His unconditional love is truly like. Although I believe Mr Isaac was knit together by God Himself (as described in Ps 139), by having a part in the creation of another person, I have a clearer glimpse of the great Creator. I can better identify with the sacrifice made on the cross and the knowledge of His suffering affects me so much deeper. Being a parent opens up a whole new way to relate to God as Father. All around, it was beautifully different.

David Crowder (minus the *Band)

LeCrae

For the last several years, Passion has asked those who are registered to bring along unused towels and socks to be donated to area homeless shelters. Last year, Passion collected so many new towels and pairs of socks, that the homeless shelters of Atlanta had a surplus that was sent to the shelters serving those affected by Superstorm Sandy. That's a ton of socks. This year, once again, they collected massive amounts of towels & socks. I think they may have stopped counting around 600,000 pairs of socks. I never heard an official total, but I wouldn't recommend going to an Atlanta area walmart anytime soon if you're looking for towels or socks. 

One of the many giant towel pyramids. 

I happened upon this sweet sight while walking through the GWCC - Passion volunteers praying over those who would receive these towels.

 Continuing in the footsteps of last year, Passion adopted human trafficking and the modern day slave trade as its cause to support. Of course, by that, I mean the eradication of human trafficking. This year, our 4-day goal was to raise 3 million dollars to fund operations pictured below:

Not surprisingly, God moved in the hearts and wallets of the students at Passion and those who tuned into the live stream. 3.17 million dollars was raised in 4 days, primarily by poor college students. What a miraculous outpouring of love to provide aid, relief, and restoration to those who would otherwise be unable to attain these things. The following operations were fully funded:

1. Help end the exploitation of at-risk children in Thailand by providing a safe and stable environment for 125 rescued/at-risk children and equipping them with skills for long term sustainability. (Not For Sale)
2. Protect children from forced labor and sexual abuse by providing community wide education and prevention programs throughout Ghana (Free the Slaves)
3. Empower 285 communities in the epicenter of the human slave trade -Cambodia, with human trafficking prevention education and help stop slavery before it starts (World Relief)
4. Providing life saving protection for orphaned boys and girls in Moldova who are at high risk of becoming victims of human trafficking. (Stella's Voice)
5. Help prevent trafficking by funding the training for 300 law enforcement officers in Thailand who will work to identify victims and stop slavery before it starts (A21 Campaign)
6. Awaken companies and consumers to be accountable for their practices and purchases within the supply chain (Slavery Footprint)
7. Train 5,000 law enforcement officers, first responders, and community advocates to identify, rescue, and serve victims of human trafficking within the US. Help fund a hotline to identify and support victims of trafficking within the US. (Polaris Project)
8. Fund the launch of 1 safe home for 85 girls freed from India's Red Light Districts (Bombay Teen Challenge)
9. Fund 4 investigation teams at Nepal/India border crossings to prevent the trafficking of vulnerable women and young girls and dismantle existing trafficking networks. (Tiny Hands International)
10. Provide rescue and restoration for 10 women desiring to leave the sex industry and/or be freed from sex trafficking in Atlanta, GA. (Out of Darkness)
11. Fund the rescue of 22 girls who are currently suffering as sex trafficking victims in the Philippines, the arrest of 7 traffickers and shut down 2 brothels that will result in the protection of hundreds of girls (IJM)
12. Fund the freedom and rescue of more than 200 victims of hereditary slavery in India and bring criminal charges against the slaveholders and traffickers. (Free the Slaves)
13. Provide a center and safe haven for 80 women who have been sexually exploited in Indonesia. (Warm Blankets Orphan Care)
14. Help provide restoration to survivors of sexual abuse and exploitation in the US by funding the launch of 2 new safe homes. (Wellspring Living)
15. Help restore 12 girls from Cambodia who have been rescued from sex slavery. (Ratanak International)
16. Provide a team of multilingual counselors to conduct assessments of potentially trafficked foreign-national women caught in the court system in NYC (Restore NYC)
17. Fund the rescue of 150 girls trafficked across the Nepal/India border and empower communities to prevent further trafficking (She is Safe)
18. Provide restoration for 15 girls recovering from the abuse of sexual exploitation and slavery. (Love 146)
19. Provide 80 children from backgrounds of trafficking and abuse restoration and hope for a future. (Hagar International)
20. Provide restoration for 25 women freed from slavery and sexual exploitation in India through the funding of a recovery safe home (10/40 Connections)
21. Provide long-term care, protection, and restoration for 3 women who have been trafficked and exploited in Bulgaria. (A21 Campaign)

Isn't that just INCREDIBLE?!?! The money raised at Passion 2013 will really go to make a huge difference in the eradication of this great injustice known as human trafficking. Click on the links above (I went to a lot of trouble getting all of these organizations linked up! Throw me a bone here!) to learn more about each campaign and organization and their vision for changing the world. At the very least, you should visit Slavery Footprint and learn how many slaves you are employing through the purchases you make on a daily basis. It is really eye opening and subsequently nauseating to see how far reaching this problem really is.

I'm curious to see what kind of Google traffic I get with words like "sexual exploitation" and "brothel."

I digress.

As usual, we were not disappointed by our experience at Passion 2013. Jordan and I already look expectantly to Passion 2014! I think as long as there are Passion Conferences, we will be taking church vans full of pumped up college kids halfway across the country.

And Exhale

Remember that post I wrote about a month ago asking for travel advice?

I'm happy to say we survived.

Isaac and I left home on Friday 12/28 for Augusta, visited lots of family and friends and then joined Jordan and our college students in Atlanta for Passion 2013. There are lots of pictures and stories to share from both of these events (and our crazy travel days), once I have a few minutes to upload pictures and gather thoughts. Also, coming up soon is a "guest post" of sorts about Destino del Reino over at E, Myself, and I. More info on that to come!

Plus, I have like a zillion blogs to catch up on, most of which are 2012 recap blogs or 2013 resolution blogs. Since it's now been 2013 for almost a week, I don't feel the need to include either of these topics, which is just fine by me. Here's the quick recap, collect caller style: Wehadababyitsaboy.

Tomorrow, Mr Isaac has his 2 month checkup, which includes lots of shots. If I'm not curled up in a corner crying and rocking, I'll be back with a Passion 2013 post. It was a completely different experience this year than I've had in any of the past trips, which I'm still processing. Gregg Matte said "Going to Passion is like trying to drink from a fire hose." It's just too much awesome to process all at once!