Blog-o-Holl*ic

I think this is going to be another post that some people probably shouldn't read. 

Apparently my overly large, overly selfish mouth has spouted off a little too much. My mother, in my defense went to my father in an attempt to gain a little financial reprieve for all the wedding expenses. I told her it wasn't his fault that we were spending this money, but she insisted that he was paying for Casey's dress, so the least he could do was pay for my dress as well. This request for cash was the catalyst for another ugly argument that has now resulted in a lot of hatred and hurt feelings. Apparently, my dad "called" Jennifer (this is all straight from my mom, which may or may not be entirely what happened. i dont know.) and Jennifer "said" that she never wanted to invite my mom to the wedding in the first place. Which, of course, my dad then informed my mom that she wasn't welcome and that "everyone was wondering why she was coming." I'm sure something was said to Jennifer as well about Jordan and I feeling burdened by all the expenses. So now I'm sure that Jennifer is well aware of what I think about this whole deal. And now my mother is no longer going to the wedding at all, because she believes she is no longer wanted. Apparently my dad accused her of never loving Jennifer (a little background: Jenn is my half-sister, from my dad's first marriage), and never treating her like a daugher anyway, so why should she even dare to attend the wedding of someone she never cared for. I hate this. I just cant stand this name calling and I guess I'll never understand how 2 people who loved each other for 26 years can now be so hateful towards each other now. What can be worse?? Apparently awkward-Diane was in the next room during the entire argument. 

These are the days where I could stay in Texas every day for the rest of my life and be perfectly fine. In my mom's defense, she has gotten better about venting everything she hates about my dad to me. But that doesn't mean I don't still hear things from her, just not as much anymore. And of course, my relationship with my father is nowhere near functional, so I don't ever hear his defense, or his side of the story. It's just such an awkward, strange, frustrating, cyclic place to be. I hate this, I just hate this. I don't ever see an end to the fighting and the hatred. I don't ever see the end to this awkward in-the-middle feeling. I don't ever see my parents really being happy with someone else; I mean, How can I? 

My poor husband. He's got a lifetime of dysfunctional family influence ahead. 

And he's mad at me. I got my hair done today. I told him that I was going someplace else, someplace besides Moda to have my hair done, so that I would save a little $$. Well the place I went today ended up being almost equally expensive and so he's not exactly happy. I do like my hair though (to put a positive spin on things...)

I am really not looking forward to going home next week. 

Current song stuck in my head: watching Grey's... how can I really concentrate on anything else???