Sunday, May 11, 2008

Utterly Exhausted.

Ok, so I've had random naps in the past 36+ hours. It's been rough- Jordan is sick, sick, sick. I dont know if I've ever seen him this ill. It's really really stressful- and I cant imagine how he feels! Poor guy!!! He's got some sort of stomach bug that's been making him sick since about this time last night. HOPEFULLY this is a 24 hour type thing and he'll start to feel better again soon. I just hate seeing him feel bad. And I hate seeing/hearing/smelling vomit. And I hate not being able to make him feel better. I just feel so powerless and it scares me when the things I know to do arent working for him. What a fantastic mother's day, huh??? I guess it's a good thing I'm not a mommy this year :)

I really pray that we can both get some rest tonight. Jordan's been sleeping for about an hour, which is a blessing. I type to try to de-stress. I'm still pretty keyed up- we came very close to climbing in the car and driving to the ER. Phenergan suppositories are a God-send. Last night I laid in bed by myself and listened to music for about 2 hours to calm down enough to get a quick nap between 4 and 8. Needless to say, we did not go to church this morning. I'm sad about this, because I had to work last weekend, plus we were supposed to bring breakfast for our sunday school class. Thankfully, our incredible Strange friends took breakfast for us-- they're so fabulous. 

On another note. (maybe typing about something else will help me de-stress even more...) I'm almost completely finished with baby announcements. I've gotten about half of them finished and the rest merely need a couple of little things done. My intentions were to finish them up today so Kelli could get them sent out shortly. They turned out pretty ok, the Macs love them, which in the end is my intention. I'll post pictures of them shortly. 

Work has been better recently (imagine that!!) Well, I should say, when I left work yesterday, I didn't want to run out screaming and never return. I feel like things run a little more smoothly every day, which doesn't mean that the days aren't still crazy crazy busy, just less uncoordinated. I am beginning to feel more comfortable, but it also seems like when I finally feel like I'm doing everything and I'm doing a great job, I find something that I did wrong or forgot or someone points out that I've neglected to do something. I believe that ONE DAY I'll have most all of it in the bag... at least the routine stuff. I understand that I'll never know it all, I'll never be truly prepared for a crashing baby or mom, the abruption, the precip. The bad thing about L&D is that when things are bad, they're devastating. But 98% of the time, I get to see beautiful healthy babies come into the world, which is absolutely incredible. I have to admit, I've fallen in love with watching the way babies move through a birth canal- it's so fascinating, the flexion and rotation and the whole 6 movements that (most) babies do. 

Well I've been typing and looking at other things and fiddling for an hour and a half now and J is still sleeping. Praise God!! 

Current Song stuck in my head: My own rhythmic, de-stress deep breathing.

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